Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Charlotte's Birth Story

           Getting pregnant wasn't as easy as we had expected. First I had to convince Eric that having a baby was a fabulous idea. To my surprise it didn't take too much convincing since Eric was already imagining what it would be like to come home from work and have his child wrap their arms around him. So, in August of 2012 we decided to start trying, but had agreed that we wouldn't tell a soul (Eric's request)! Of course I had a grand plan, because everything in my life has to have a plan. I would stop taking my birth control in August and we would start trying to get pregnant in November. According to my plan, we had three months to make it happen...this would allow me to have the baby in between school semesters. Well, as always, the big Man above had a better plan! The three months flew by and I was still only seeing one line on those stupid pee sticks! I started to become discouraged as others around me were announcing their pregnancies. We were doing everything by the book (because along with planning, I obsess over everything too, so of course I was reading every blog/website imaginable)! I didn't understand why it wasn't happening when it seemed so easy for everyone else. Even though my three month time line was over, we continued to try. But still, month after month went by with negative test after negative test (and more negative tests..because you know, you can't just take one!). The hardest part of the whole thing was not being able to talk to anyone about the struggle. I didn't even really talk to Eric much about it because I didn't want him to know how obsessed I was! You know how they say '”if you stop thinking about it, it will happen”? Well, I'm a true believer in that logic now! By June I was done! I was convinced that there was something wrong with one of us and we needed to get check out. There was no “planning” in the month of June (let alone very little “trying”). I went to Tahoe at the end of the month for my friends bachelorette party which also happened to be the weekend I was supposed to start my period. When I got home from Tahoe I decided to pee on another stick. I figured, why not? This was almost routine for me now! Thank God for the Dollar Store pregnancy tests because those things are expensive when you take an average of 5 a month!. To my surprise there was the faintest of faint second line! I couldn't help but ask Eric if he could see one line or two, which he answered “there might be a second one?” not very helpful! So the next morning I took another test and there was, without a doubt, a second line! But I couldn't settle with just one test, especially a dollar store test, so of course I took another one! I couldn't believe it. I remember looking in the mirror at myself in disbelief! I called my doctor that day and went to the lab were they did another urine test....which came back NEGATIVE! I practically begged my doctor for a blood test because by that time I had taken 7 tests that all said positive (yes, still in disbelief). He agreed and the next day I got confirmation that I was indeed pregnant! I of course already had a box of baby items ready to give to Eric, things I had accumulated over the last 9 months. After I told him the great news he asked “when do we get to find out what it is?” (he was hoping for a boy). I was shocked and replied “you told me 6ish years ago that you didn't want to find out the gender of your babies until they are born! So that's what I have planned for in the last 6ish years...you're going to change that on me now?” And so after a brief discussion we decided to not find out the gender....craziness to some! On fourth of July we had a BBQ at our house and announced our surprise to our family and friends, who were shocked.

Fast forward 9 months and we were anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little bundle of joy. Up until a few weeks before my due date, not knowing the gender was easy and fun! But as it got close, Eric and I were so anxious to find out! We were done being told what everyone else thought it was going to be and we were done calling our baby “it”. Eric was sure the entire pregnancy that we were having a girl, and I went back and forth, although towards the end I was pretty convinced it was a boy. My due date, March 7th, came and went despite every effort to start labor, with the exception of castor oil..but that was next! On Monday the 10th I woke up around 2am with consistent contractions. I made sure that Eric took his phone with him to work when he left around 3am just in case this turned into something exciting. After he had left I went in the living room and bounced on the birth ball while timing the contractions. They were about 10-12 minutes apart so I knew they weren't exciting yet. Around 7:30am, just about when I was going to tell my mom, the contractions stopped. That day my mom and I walked to try to get things going again. Around 5pm the contractions started again, but still not very exciting. Then around 1am Tuesday morning I told Eric that we should head to the hospital to get checked. I was having contractions about 7-10 minutes apart lasting about a minute each. They still weren't in a good pattern, but I just wanted to get checked to see if they were actually doing anything or if this was just false labor. We decided to alert the troops of our trip to the hospital, although we wish we would've spared every one the false alarm at 1am! Haha I was still only dilated to 1cm which was extremely discouraging, but I had effaced (I can't remember what percentage exactly). They could tell on the monitor that almost every other contraction I was feeling was only a braxton hicks so they gave me some medication to make those “go away” and sent me home to sleep. Sleeping was a bit difficult with a contraction every 10 minutes but I did manage to get some rest! My mom came over at some time Tuesday morning and her and Eric kept me company while I bounced my way through each contraction. I tried to lay on the couch but that made the discomfort 10x worse! Eric's dad came over just as we were deciding that it was probably time to head to the hospital again. Just for the record, my “PLAN” was to stay at home for as long as possible and to have a natural labor with no interventions or epidural. I probably should have stayed home longer but honestly, the excitement and curiosity of “how far have I gotten” got to me (I was also GBS positive so I had to make sure there was enough time to get the antibiotics). Around 3pm we headed to the hospital. When I was checked (by the same midwife that delivered my niece) I was dilated to a 3-4. She then asked “your membranes are leaking, when did your water break?” to which I replied “I think it just did!” as I felt the gush of liquid! She left the room to start my admittance process while I had the sudden urge to vomit! It was like a scene in the movies, my mom and Eric running around the room looking through cabinets and such in search of something, anything, for me to throw up in! Finally Eric grabbed the garbage can out of the bathroom and rushed it over to me. Poor guy, this was only the beginning (by the way....barf bags are kept by the head of the hospital bed)! I was so excited that I was able to get admitted! This was it! Our little “it” would be here soon! I spent the next 6 or so hours on top of the birth ball, bouncing my way through each contraction, with Eric massaging my shoulders with each one. Thank goodness for that ball...I'm so happy we remembered to take it! I had also spent some time in the shower which was very relaxing, but since they have to monitor the baby every thirty minutes, I didn't feel up to getting undressed again to get back in. I don't know what I would've done without Eric there by my side. Good thing people kept him supplied with coffee because I needed him! At some point during the night they had checked me and I was still only dilated to a 4. They started pitocin in hopes to speed things up. I could no longer bounce on the ball because they were having a hard time monitoring the baby but being in bed made the contractions 10x worse! With each contraction Eric would push as hard as he could on my lower back and in between each one we had my hot corn pillow resting there (yes, many trips were made to the microwave). Sometime early Wednesday morning I began to have an extreme urge to push with each contraction. I told the nurse that I wanted to be checked and when they checked me, I was extremely disappointed, and shocked, to hear that I was STILL only dilated to a 4! I was then told that I had to fight the urge to push...the baby was dropping which was causing the pressure, but if I pushed I would hurt the baby and myself. For those of you who need a better understanding of how difficult this was, imagine you have to go number 2 the worst you've ever had to go...but you're in the car, or some public place, and you have to squeeze your cheeks and use all your energy to NOT push! Now multiply that by 5 or 10 and you have an understanding of how this feels! The midwife suggested an epidural to help my body relax so that maybe I would dilate. I VERY much did not want to have an epidural but I knew that if this went on for much longer they may start throwing out the dreaded word “c-section”. I went through a few more AWFUL contractions where I had to pull myself up using the bed rail to help fight the urge to push before I seriously considered and discussed the epidural with my family and Eric. They had strict orders to talk me out of such a thing and we even had a code word in place to let them know I was serious. They stuck to the plan and reminded me that I could do it without the epidural...but I knew it was the right decision because my body wasn't able to do what it needed to with me being so tense. I finally gave the code word...”Fritos!”. The nurse on duty at the time had a hunch that the baby was posterior, or sunny side up. She had me lay in different positions to try to flip the baby. I could still feel each contraction with the epidural but at a much smaller intensity...which was perfect because I didn't want to be numb of all contractions and urges to push. Within 2 hours of having the epidural, which allowed both Eric and I to get some much needed rest, I was again having the urge to push. I was paging for the nurse but she wasn't coming so Eric's grandma went and got her. I told the nurse that I had the urge to push and she just continued about her business looking through cabinets and such. When I told her that I was very uncomfortable she thought I was referring to the oxygen mask and began to adjust it. I finally said “not the mask! I need to push!” with which she responded “OH! Well let's check you then”. After checking me she asked “do you want the good news or the bad news?” How do you respond to that in that situation? I didn't want any news if she was going to tell me I was still at a 4! I just laid there silent. I think she could tell I was hesitant because she finally told me that I was 9.5cm dilated and I could try to push. WWWHHHHOOOO WWWHHHOOO!!!!!! I still don't know what the “bad”news was...maybe that I still had .5 to go? This is when the fun began! A new nurse came on duty, relieving the one that assumed the baby was sunny side up, and she and Eric held my legs while I pushed. Because the baby's oxygen level would go down with each push, the doctor wanted me to push with every other contraction....again with the holding back?! Torture I tell you! The doctor guessed that we would have a baby by 9am (just 30 minutes from the time he was in the room) and said that he would be right back to break down the bed to prepare...he never returned. Instead, a familiar face entered the room, the midwife who delivered my niece, and who also broke my water! I was very happy to see her. Things started happening very quickly and the room soon filled with nurses. I remember hearing the midwife say over and over “I need Dr so and so in here for the shoulder!”...I was confused by that and so was Eric and our mothers who were in the room. Then, as I leaned back to take a deep breath and prepare for the next push, I opened my eyes and lying there on my now empty tummy was our beautiful baby...ok, maybe not beautiful at the time...I mean really...until they are cleaned off....! I was in shock! I had no idea that my baby had been born! Eric was supposed to announce if we had a boy or a girl and after a few moments the midwife finally asked “Are you going to tell us what it is?” but Eric couldn't see because the legs were crossed so one of the nurses opened up the legs and Eric announced “It's a girl!” Again, I was in complete shock! I had been convinced that it was a boy, even though I was wishing for a girl. I burst into tears I was so happy...Charlotte Grace was here! Eric was right, all along he knew it was a girl. And the hair!! She had so much hair! I couldn't wait for her to get her bath so we could really see what it looked like. Our sweet little girl decided to poop all over her and mommy. Poop was everywhere! But it didn't really matter, because I was holding my DAUGHTER. I was in disbelief that I had a daughter for a couple of days! And I wasn't the only one in shock....the midwife was amazed that the baby came out sunny side up! In her words “You pushed that baby out looking up! Only 3% of babies are born that way”. Okay so she thought I was super woman or something....but then came the hardest part of the entire ordeal. I had suffered a 4th degree laceration. The pain from the repair was the worst pain I've ever experienced! They called the anesthesiologist to give me more epidural but it didn't matter because I only lost feeling in my left leg, nowhere else! She tried everything to get it to spread but nothing was successful. She finally looked at me and said “I'm sorry, but I have given you enough medication for a c-section and I can't give you anymore.” Eric had left the room at some point because he couldn't stand seeing me in that much pain, let alone seeing what was happening. My mom almost fainted because it was hard on her to see me like that. I honestly told myself that I wouldn't be having any more children because of it...that thought has since worn off. The repair took THREE hours. In the meantime, the rest of our family, our dads and Eric's grandma, waited patiently in the waiting room. They knew that the baby had been born and that we were both ok but they still had no idea if it was a boy or a girl. If I could go back (not that I want to relive that!) I would’ve had Eric announce it to those waiting, but in the moment (and not knowing it was going to be three hours) I wanted to witness their reactions.

Eric stayed in the hospital with the two of us. I knew right away he was going to be an awesome daddy! We had to stay two nights because Charlotte was losing too much weight. It was so nice to finally come home as a family of 3. Labor and delivery was quite the experience. I've read MANY birth stories and I always wondered what mine would be. Of course I envisioned a blissful, yet painful (I'm not stupid), medication/intervention free birth. Instead I went to the hospital sooner than planned, had pitocin and even an epidural, and an aftermath that is seriously indescribable. Honestly, I'm happy with the decisions that were made. I could still feel every contraction and every push with the epidural, but I know that it would have been much worse given the circumstances if I hadn't received it. And of course there is always next time (Lord willing) to give it another try!

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